Jokes - Kids

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This joke is going down quicker than Jennifer Thompson with 1200 in her pocketshare

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I love dog owners. Always happy to let you have a good old stroke of their beautiful dogs when you ask.
Can’t say the same for parents, mind…share

There are so many fat kids about today and people are complaining! the way I see it there are 3 advantages to it
1: They are more tempted by sweets to come to your car
2: They cant run away to fast from you
and 3: more cushion for the pushingshare

I treat my kids like AM radio.
I never listen to them.share

I told my colleague at work earlier that I was concerned about my son after I caught him playing with Barbies.
“Is it really such a big problem? I’m sure he’ll grow out of it” he said.
“I doubt it” I replied, “He’s 36.”share

My little cousin still goes to the pre-school
When the teacher asked her “You have 5 apples, you give half to John, how many have you got left?”
She confidently replied “Four and a half”share

I’ve got three kids, ten, eight and five. Weird names, I know.share

“But daddy, isn’t this wrong”
“No, all the girls your age do this with their dads. Now get on this and ride like you have never ridden before…… And if you can’t I’ll put your stabilisers back on.”share

Bing Horn? Now I know Matt Bellamy is in to his music but is there any need to call your child after two sounds?share

My mom told me it’s about high time I grew up and become independent
I nearly choked on her breastmilk!share

The worst part about being a paedophile is trying to fit in.share

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Jokes - Kids - 4