Jokes - Mystics

Random joke:

My wife was looking through my laptop the other day while I was at work.
She found some indecent images of minors.
What can I say?
I just get really turned on by naked men digging for coal.share

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Went to the library today and asked have you got any books on mysterious disappearances?
The librarian said ” Well, they used to be over there……”share

I’m having a really stressful time at the moment, and to make things worse I get back from the doctors to find I’ve got a high blood count.
I specifically told Dracula not to sample any of my ‘special cakes’ while I was at work.share

Why are there no vampires on Facebook?
Because they can’t take pictures of themselves in front of a mirror.share

BBC News: Walker, 68, found dead in Italy.
Walking and dead at the same time? Impressive. Your move David Blaine.share

I’m like a Magician with women.
I pick a girl at random off the street, saw her in half, and then make her disappear….share

I had a contest with the Grim Reaper to see who could throw the best carnival. He won – mine was a fte worse than Death’s.share

Two gypsy fortune-tellers meet on the street: “You’re fine, how am I?”share

It’s bad luck when you see a black cat walk out in front of you.
Especially if you’re a mouse.share

What do you call it when a race of people magically disappears?
Geniecide.share

How was your apocalypse ?
Mine was great, until I realized the zombies I was killing weren’t zombies…
But that didn’t stop me!share

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