Jokes - Mystics - Mythical

Random joke:

I tried to get the local tramp to play football down the park,
He had a couple of good games but ended up on the bench for the rest of the day.share

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Went to the library today and asked have you got any books on mysterious disappearances?
The librarian said ” Well, they used to be over there……”share

I’m having a really stressful time at the moment, and to make things worse I get back from the doctors to find I’ve got a high blood count.
I specifically told Dracula not to sample any of my ‘special cakes’ while I was at work.share

Why are there no vampires on Facebook?
Because they can’t take pictures of themselves in front of a mirror.share

How was your apocalypse ?
Mine was great, until I realized the zombies I was killing weren’t zombies…
But that didn’t stop me!share

I went out thieving with a couple of vampires the other day. They put me up on their shoulders so I could reach stuff. I got arrested and charged with shoplifting on two counts.share

I had to see Twilight last night, just to satisfy what all the fuss was about. Talk about far fetched or what …
Vegetarians being strong and not one of them has an irritable bowel.share

My mate said vampires can’t be real as they could get AIDs from peoples blood,
I replied back “It depends on the colour of the person they bite”share

Went to a zombie party last night.
It was dead at first but eventually things started coming alive.share

This is a genuine quote from an American teenager when asked what she thought of Twilight: New Moon.
“It was like, totally awesome! Oh…and vampires are the hottest thing alive!”
Somehow, I don’t think she was trying to be ironic.share

Stephenie Meyer likes Team Edward! and Eating Alone.share

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