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The other day, I saw a homeless woman and her child begging for money. I presume it was ‘bring your child to work day’share
Unbelievable. Tories in power for less than half an hour and already a Scottish family is unemployed and homeless.share
A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking tramp who asked him for a couple of pounds for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two quid and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whisky?”
“No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the tramp said.
“Will you use it to gamble?”
“I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?”
“Are you MAD? I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
The man said, “Well, I’m not going to give you two quid. Instead, I’m going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The tramp was astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”
The man replied, “Hey, man, that’s OK! I just want her to see what a man looks like who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf!”share
The man took out his wallet, extracted two quid and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whisky?”
“No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the tramp said.
“Will you use it to gamble?”
“I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?”
“Are you MAD? I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
The man said, “Well, I’m not going to give you two quid. Instead, I’m going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The tramp was astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”
The man replied, “Hey, man, that’s OK! I just want her to see what a man looks like who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf!”share
Just walked out of the shop and tramp approached me and said, “Have you got a spare cigarette?”
I said, “Hang on a minute, mate,” as I took a full pack from my pocket and opened them…
I said, “No, mate, there’s only 20 in it.”share
I said, “Hang on a minute, mate,” as I took a full pack from my pocket and opened them…
I said, “No, mate, there’s only 20 in it.”share
A homeless guy knocked on my door last night:
“Excuse me, do you have any spare food?”
“Yeah, do you mind if it’s yesterday’s dinner?”
“Not at all.”
“Come back tomorrow then.”share
“Excuse me, do you have any spare food?”
“Yeah, do you mind if it’s yesterday’s dinner?”
“Not at all.”
“Come back tomorrow then.”share
I was in London the other day and this tramp came up to me and said, “Mister, I haven’t tasted food in a week.”
I said, “Don’t worry, it still tastes the same.”share
I said, “Don’t worry, it still tastes the same.”share
As I was walking through central London in the early hours of this morning, I kept seeing people sleeping in shop doorways and alleys.
I thought they would’ve been grateful when I woke them up to tell them that they had missed the royal wedding and it was time to go home, but if anything it just seemed to leave them feeling distressed.share
I thought they would’ve been grateful when I woke them up to tell them that they had missed the royal wedding and it was time to go home, but if anything it just seemed to leave them feeling distressed.share
I was walking down the street, then a homeless man said to me, “Can you please spare me a sorry?”
I said, “What?”
He said, “I beg your pardon.”share
I said, “What?”
He said, “I beg your pardon.”share
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