Jokes - Dirty And Sexy - 10

Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.share

A construction worker is working on the 10th floor when he relizes he needs a saw so he looks down and sees a fellow worker. So not wanting to go back down, he waits till he looks up and points to his eye for (i), then points to his knee for (need) and moved his hand back and forth in a saw motion. The fellow worker then proceeded to pull down his pants whip his cock out and started masturbating ferociously. The worker on the 10th floor gets very angry goes down there and says, "What the f*ck are you doing!?" The guy says, "I just wanted to let you know that I`m coming."share

Charlie was invited to his friend and wife`s house. They were eating dinner when Charlie dropped his napkin. He reached down to pick it up and he saw that the wife had her legs wide open with no panties on. Quite flustered Charlie excused himself from the table and went to the kitchen. To his utter surprise the wife came in and said "did you like what you saw?" Charlie smiled and said "yes" he looked towards where the husband was sat."well come tomorrow lunch and bring $500 and you can explore the rest" the wife said. Charlie knew that he couldn`t afford to spend the night with her. "okay. but what about your husband?" the wife gave out a little sigh and said "oh don`t worry about him. he`ll be at work" the next day Charlie turned up to the wife`s house with the money and banged her. Charlie left and the husband came back home. he asked "did Charlie come over today?" thinking she had been caught she said "yes" the husband carried on "did he give you the whole $500?" she replied "yes" the husband let out a huff. "phewww, he came by my work today and asked me for the money. he didn`t tell me why but I gave it to him and he said he would drop it off with you around lunch"






*pregnant girl gets on bus*
Bus driver: Excuse me sir could you give your seat up?
Man: Nooooo, she shoulda fucked someone with a car.share

There was a really sexy woman on a plane, and a man was sat next to her.
The woman said, "Can you remove something from my breast please?"
The man replied," Yes!", full of excitement. He said, "What do you want me to remove?"
The woman replied," Your eyes!"share

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.
"Can I touch it?"
"No way -- you already broke yours off!"share