Jokes - - 12

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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
…Neither.
No-one came until the rooster did.share

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I’ve been going out with my native American girlfriend for a while now.
So last night I decided to go down on bended knee.share

I bought a print copy of a newspaper this morning.
I didn’t get a chance to go on the Internet yesterday so I thought I’d better catch up.share

David Cameron employing Andy Coulson what next, a butcher employing maggots?share

I said to my grandad, “Roughly when did you start going bald?”
He said, “Off the top of my head, I don’t know”.share

Someone told me I was intabred and I agreed.
I do like bread.share

I watched the Jewish version of The Untouchables yesterday…
Just 2 hours of CCTV footage watching pigs.share

I know we won it, but calling world war 1 the Great war is over the top!share

My face fell as I held my winning scratchcard.
Stroke of luck, that.share

It was my kids birthday and he was overjoyed when I told him there was a DS and PC waiting for him.
Until I said they had come to arrest him.share

I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 10:00 p.m. tonight.share

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