Jokes - Sayings And Words

Random joke:

Bruce Willis is releasing his own masculine fragrance to the public. Let me get this right. A top celebrity does this and gets paid millions.

Yet I release my masculine fragrance in public and all I get is a punch in the balls from the wife.share

Keyword::

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The best place to hide a body is on Page 2 of Google’s search results.share

It is estimated that it has cost the British taxpayer 2.3 million to pay for the Pope’s visit.
They obviously never heard of Ryanair, return tickets from Rome start at 48.share

Manufacturers of Dulux ‘Once’. I think the word you’re looking for is ‘twice’.share

Been on hold so long I can’t remember who I called. I have a credit card out and my pants off but that doesn’t really narrow it down much.share

Some people say love makes the world go round, others say it’s money, I say it’s the suns gravitational attractionshare

My father always said to me, ‘if you build it, they will come’.
That’s why I now own my own strip club.share

top tip
don’t waste money buying viz comic just log on to sickipedia.org the day after it’s published and read all the jokes for freeshare

Do you know someone, or have been affected by someone, who needs a punch in the face?
People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except a punch in the face. But we can raise awareness. 93% of people won’t get this…
They need a punch in the face.share

Save money on a bigger TV by simply moving the couch closer to your existing one.share

‘Hope you’re hungry’
A kind gesture in Britain;
A cruel taunt in Sudan.share

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